I'm not a loanshark!

I don't like borrowing money from others. In the rare times when I owe someone money (eg. when going out for dinner with friends and I only have my debit card while they have enough cash to foot the bill first, or when we share a cab home and they pay the total fare because they get dropped home last), I always make it a point to pay my share of the money back before they ask me for it. In these cases, though the amount tends to be small, it's still in my conscience to settle the "debt".

I've always believed that if you want to buy something, either make sure it's attainable within your budget, or work hard to save up for it. I know it can be a struggle for some people, but if we look closely into our spending habits, we can usually find things in our lives that we can live without.

On the other side of the same coin, I don't like lending money either. If it's for the above reasons that I had mentioned regarding me borrowing money, then sure (if it's for friends/family), but anything more than a couple of hundred kroners for friends are usually "no-no" for me, especially since money tends to destroy friendships and relationships when people don't pay up. It's better to make a friend upset for a few days or weeks when he/she doesn't get money from you, than to totally lose the friendship because he/she doesn't pay up.

The rare times when I make exceptions to my rule, I usually end up getting reminded of WHY I don't loan money out in the first place. Case in point: the recent trip to Berlin.

I was the one who had looked into flight tickets and hotel rooms for me and 2 girlfriends. Well, one was a friend (W), the other was this friend's friend (AL) whom I had met a couple of times before. Anyway, it was easier for me to pay first because flight tickets were booked online and had to be paid for upon reservation, while the hotel rooms were booked via my company so since I was the only one with access to my company's staff website, it was therefore easier for me to just pay for the rooms first.

Anyhow, total amount that each of the girls should pay was 1,468kr (S$420). W paid up on time, but AL asked after some days if she could pay back her part the following month (July) due to a tight economy. "Sure," I said, since I didn't need the money desperately anyway. Which of course begs the question: "Why go on a trip when it's not within your budget?" but ok, that's another story.

After our trip (end of June), 2 weeks passed and I didn't hear a word from AL. Yes, I know she said she'd pay back in July, and July wasn't over yet, but I also know that she would have received her salary at the end of June, so wouldn't it have been right to pay back after settling the usual mambo jambo like rent and bills, etc?

If she was genuinely tight with her economy, then yes, I'd understand better. However, while we were at the Duty Free shop in Copenhagen Airport before catching our flight to Berlin, she had spent a good 700kr (S$200) on branded makeup without so much of a thought! ½ of "my" money! For her to spend like that in front of me after telling me about her tight economy felt just like she was rubbing my face in the dirt, but I said nothing because I didn't want to spoil the trip over this.

So yes, I did expect her to pay back right after getting her next pay cheque before she started spending "my" money again, but 2 weeks went by without any feedback. I wrote an email reminding her about it, but no reply for about 4 days.

Called her up, and she said she didn't receive my email, but will pay it the following week. The following week came and went, but still no sign of a transfer. I sent an sms with the amount and account number and asked that it be paid the following Monday, so I should receive it in my account on Tuesday, and requested also for an acknowledgement that the message has been read and understood. Didn't get it.

Monday came, and I sent yet another sms in the evening asking if transfer was made. Finally a message back, but saying "Oops! I'll do it tomorrow". Tuesday came, and the message I received was that her bank would not transfer the money that day because her account was in minus, so had to wait 1 more day (probably when her next pay cheque came in). So Wednesday came, and though I told her to let me know when done, I didn't hear anything in the morning so I sent yet another sms to ask if it was done. Shortly after, her message came back saying "Done", and after checking my account on Thursday, I finally see my dough.

Case closed at last!!! And never, never, never again. I know that some people would just "let it go" and say "Well, that's how much it costed to get rid of a friend like him/her," but for me, as long as I know how to contact the borrower and/or know where he/she lives, I won't just "let it go". Simply because if I do, it would only be allowing that person to easily escape his/her responsibility to pay back a loan. If people just keep "letting it go", then the borrower will just keep borrowing without paying back.

Anyway, I have now retired from my "loansharking" business. I make a lousy loanshark anyway, since I don't cruelly add on a high interest rate for every day that the loan's not paid back.