My 3 daily "S'es" in reverse

I've been meaning to blog about this for some time but have been pushing it, yet every time it happens, I keep telling myself "It'll be blogged about today!"

So yes, today's the day!

Do you know how annoying it is when, after a nice refreshing shower, especially in the morning, and you're feeling clean and ready to take on the world, when within minutes of stepping out, the guys in your rectum go:

"BREACH ALERT! BREACH ALERT! People, listen up! Our outer walls have been breached - it seems like our dear Anus here has been scrubbed cleaned...AGAIN!"

"Oh no!!!" chorus every filthy one. "Why does this keep happening?!? When will it STOP?!"

"We'll discuss the details of a real Republican plan later, but right now, we've just got to unload the bio-chemical S.H.I.T. of the day and see what happens."

So starts the rumble of an internal earthquake measured to an equivalent of between 4-8 on the Richter Scale, and then the power struggle between Anus and The Mind to see who will give in. More often than not, Anus wins, so the download goes ahead as launched...and Anus gets soiled despite being clean just minutes ago. And this usually means that I end up in the shower a 2nd freakin' time! Good that the Rectum Department tends to be out of ammo by then.

I really hate it when literal shit happens like that after being scrubbed clean. I mean, if it happens after a few hours of my shower, then fine. But out of every 10 times I shower, 8 times I end up sitting over the "Black White Hole" within just 10 mins of pure santizied bliss. What is wrong here?!?!

And it's not like I can help it much because:

1. I'm usually fine before I step into the shower (so why waste a good precious 10 mins sitting over the "White Hole" hoping for a download before I get wet).

2. It's not just in the weekday mornings that the launches happen after a shower. It can also be during a weekend afternoon or weekend evening, so it's not that there's a fixed morning timetable that I can prepare precisely for.

Or what? Am I really doing it all wrong? Is there some kind of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T) that all humans go through at age 3 to teach about following the correct sequence of events: Shit-Shave-Shower? I've heard Martin saying this phrase several times before as if he had graduated with top honours from this training. Is this true? Since I seem to be doing the exact opposite all the time (Shower-Shave-Shit)!

Oh well...I think I'll need to have a one-on-one with my body soon because enough is enough!