Official end of a long history.

So, it is kinda official now that I am not going to continue working in the company that I have been working in for almost 11 years.

If you've been following my blog, you would know that sometime in late September, my company was contemplating the closing down of our Copenhagen office. At that time, it was 99% certain. Fast forward 1 month, and the decision has now been made, with 100% certainty of the closure.

I also informed that I had the choice of choosing whether or not to stay on in my position, but working from home. Or, if I want to be terminated like the rest of my colleagues. I did apply for the position, went for the interview for it (even though it went without saying that I'd be given the job anyway, so the interview was just for formality's sake), and was successful in getting the position.

However, when I went for the interview two Wednesdays ago with 2 of my Frankfurt office managers, I was already 80% certain that I didn't want the job. I wanted to hear more about it though, because it could be that I change my mind after the interview, so was being open to hear.

After the interview, I was 100% certain that I didn't want it. I have several reasons that I had informed my European manager about, and that I will now share with you:

1. Time already used:
- I have been in this position long enough, so it’s time for me to move on (while I’m still young).

2. Nature of the offered position:
- After the interview, it seems more of a Destination Service (DS) position than a ship position, and working in DS is not something I am at all interested in. I had been at DS for a short period of time many years ago before ship department and didn’t like it much. I had also helped out DS during last winter, and I still didn’t like it. Therefore, I can safely conclude that it is not something for me at all, even with a ship aspect to it.

3. Future growth and development:
- I don’t see any big future growth and development for myself in this position, both personally and career-wise. Though I’m still young, I am unfortunately also getting older, so I don’t want to waste precious years of my youth being stuck in the same position.

4. Leadership style in Frankfurt office:
- I won’t fit into the kind of “top-down” leadership style of Frankfurt office. When Frankfurt office manager told me during the interview that “How we work in Frankfurt is that when your manager tells you to do something, you just do it,” I felt right away that I would be treated like a blue collar factory worker at an assembly line whose opinions, ideas and feedback will not matter.

- Maybe I’m just spoilt by the flat structure in Scandinavia. I do fully understand that in big companies, there has to be some form of structure and organization, but within the department itself, I prefer working under a manager who values my opinions and ideas, who gives me some form of freedom and independence, and who trusts me in my work. As I said earlier, I had helped out DS with some tasks last winter, and therefore had a taste of the leadership there. Sadly, I can’t say many good things about it.

5. Homeworking:
- It has its pros and cons, but despite its pros, I really can’t see myself doing it for more than a year without going crazy. Once or twice a week is great, but five days a week for a long-term period would be too much for me.

- It’s not because I would lack the discipline, but because I’ll miss having people around me, and by that, I mean more people than the other 2 homeworkers whom I can maybe see once in a while. I had a personality test done during a recent interview I was at the previous week, and one of the things it showed was that I’m an outgoing person who feels energised when I have people around me. I think that reflects a lot in my apprehension towards the whole “homeworking” concept.

6. Job security:
- After all that has been happening over the years in CPH office, with departments slowly moving down to Frankfurt office, and now the whole CPH office being closed/decentralised to Frankfurt, it is very difficult for me to trust my company that I’ll still have my job in this position after 6 months or 1 year or 2 years. We had been promised before that there was no plan to close CPH office, but within a short time, that promise was broken.

- I understand that it’s not possible to predict the future of not just my company, but other companies as well. I can’t say much about other companies without being there, so I can only say what I feel about my future with my company itself, and what I feel is that if I continue in this position, I’ll just be putting my immediate future into an upturned hourglass with the sand slowly but surely running through to the other side and leaving me behind in an empty half. I could very well be deemed “useless” in just a matter of time, despite my good performance.

7. Luxury of time:
- Thanks to the Danish law protecting me with a good legal compensation for my many years of service in my company, I’ll be able to use the time I have to explore other opportunities outside of it. I may not get a stress free chance like this again (unless my company makes me redundant in the future before I decide to hand in my own resignation), so now is a good time for me to keep my door open to something better someplace else.

- It’s a big risk for me to take, I know. Especially in hard times like what we’re going through now globally. However, last time I checked, there are still companies out there who need people, and I could be one of them if I open my door, step out and knock on theirs. High risks usually mean high returns, and from where I am now, I have nothing to lose anyway. Not in the next few months, at least.

So yeah, these are the reasons why I have decided not to take the position offered in the end. I was actually asked if I would consider doing hotel contracting instead (another position). It seemed that my European manager really wanted to keep me, so if I didn't want the offered "ship" position, he'd be willing to check if another position can be "created" for me, if I'm interested.

It did get me thinking. I was not expecting it at all, but I guess it was also because they really thought I would continue with the offered "ship" position, so it took them by surprise that I rejected it in the end. I know that I'm a good performer at work, and I know that my European manager knows that and appreciates it, but somehow I still feel that the main reason why they really want me to stay is because I'm the only one who knows the inside-out of the ship department. I'm sitting on a pot of gold.

I feel that once they get all the knowledge from me, I'll be given so much crap work that could force me to resign on my own. After all, if I have to just do what my manager tells me to do, then when can I say "No! Enough!"? Therefore, now that I have a great opportunity to find a new job while still getting fully paid for several months, I'd be stupid not to do so.

Now back to the hotel contracting offer. Like I told said before, it had me thinking. It is indeed a new and exciting challenge for me, and that’s really what I’m looking for right now.

I had over the weekend also talked to former colleagues who had been in that position before to hear more firsthand what the job was like within my company, how they felt about it, and what I can expect from it. With their valued feedback and advises, I am now able to make yet another educated decision.

The job itself sounds fantastic and I’d love that challenge, but in the end, to accept it and do it within my company, it boils down to 2 things: how things are generally done/managed “my company's way”, and the overall job security feeling (or lack of it) that I’ll have by staying within my company based here in CPH.

My final decision:
After much thoughts, sadness and reluctance, I have decided to choose the termination notice over the offer letter. It is not an easy decision for me to make at all, but my journey onboard my company's ship has ended, and it has brought me to my destination. Where I want to go next, is not a destination where my company's ship can safely take me to, so I’ll have to disembark here and find a new ship.

Thus ends the chapter of a very long history at my company. I expect the new chapter to be challenging and exciting...and it is tempting to start that chapter with 3 months of vacation in Singapore while still getting my full salary ;o). Maybe I'll make a new poll on that, so you can vote for whether I should or not ;o).