Last year was a year of LIFE (non-stop pregnancy news). This year has been a year of death...so far. 4 death news in 4 days, 1 of which is personal.
The avalanche of death news started on Tuesday, with a friend of a good friend who got ran over by a truck while on his bicycle. He was just 30. May his soul rest in peace.
Yesterday, Martin told me that our doctor had passed away last month. He was probably in his 50's. I had never met him before since I never needed to visit the doc, but Martin had been there a few times, so he kinda knew him. May his soul rest in peace too.
Today, I received an email from my mum about 2 deaths: one of her cousins (52 years old - may he rest in peace)...and the one that hit home - a friend of mine, Joline (who's also the daughter of one of my mum's very good friends).
Joline and I met way back in 1993. Like I said, my mum became friends with her mum, and Joline was her oldest daughter of 3 children. She was my age, so it was wonderful that we could start to hang out together. As our mums' friendship grew, Joline and I got to see each other quite a lot, visiting each other's homes, and joining various family activities together.
Unfortunately, after secondary/high school, we started to lose contact because Joline then moved to Switzerland (her dad's Swiss, mum's Singaporean Chinese), the rest of her family moved to Australia, and my family eventually moved to Denmark. I never heard from her again, especially since email addresses were not quite existing back then, and it's never easy to keep in touch with snail mail over long distances.
In 1994, I received a friendship band from Joline. I had it tied around my right ankle, and it stayed there for 13 years. Last year, around October, that friendship band came off due to wear and tear. I tried to tie it back on again, but it was not possible, so I left it.
Not long after that, in early November last year, I finally got reconnected with Joline again....because of Facebook. It was wonderful. She had been married for 5 months with her looooong time boyfriend (of around 8 years), and had just moved to Mozambique and loving it there. She was also back in Spore in the 1st week of December before continuing to Australia to visit her family. We were therefore not able to meet up again, since I would be there only in March.
She died...while I was in Australia. 20 March 2008 - 6 days after her 31st birthday, in a car crash in Mozambique, on the way from the airport to a vacation hotel in a limousine. Her husband survived the crash, but it took 1 hour before they could get Joline to the hospital.
Joline lived short...but she lived deep. She had been involved in a lot of charity work, also with the UN, helping those who needed help, those who were less priviledged than her. Life was rich for her, and she shared her riches with others. Therefore, the impact she had left behind in so many other people's lives means that she will live on forever. I think that what she had accomplished in the 31 years of her life is more than what many of us will ever accomplish in a long lifetime.
Funny thing was that this was exactly what I was thinking about on Monday - the day before the avalanche of death news. I was thinking about my life, and if I have done anything in it that really matters. So far, the answer is no. I don't want 5 years or worse, 10 years to pass, and such a thinking day like this comes again with the same question, and the answer is still no.
Not that I know what I will do about it now, though. Perhaps the hard realisation this week of how fragile life really is will set some things in motion in my own life. I hope so.
The other "funny" thing was that while out with a Singaporean friend of mine (Ginny) this afternoon (before I received the tragic news), we were talking a bit about Joline's brother. Ginny and I first got to know each other in Singapore 12 years ago - in Joline's home. She was going to the same school as Joline's brother, but her family eventually moved to Copenhagen too.
Anyway...
Dear Joline Wong Koller Elmer: may your soul rest in peace. Death leaves behind a heartache no one can heal; love leaves behind a memory no one can steal. You will always be in my memory, and though our reconnection after all these years was shortlived, I am still very thankful for it.
Update - 10 March 2009
It has been almost a year since Joline's passing. 10 days short of a year, to be exact. Many things have been happening over this period, and it is heartening to see that Joline's spirit really is living on!
I received a message on Facebook from Joline's husband this morning. I don't know him, except from what Joline had fondly told me about him during our short re-connection, but he had chanced upon this post on my blog some time ago, found me on Facebook, and wrote to share some good news for me to pass on: Joline's Habitat Houses! It is a housing project in Mozambique that was undertaken by family, friends and volunteers in honour of Joline.
What a wonderful idea! I'm sure this is what Joline would have wanted - no, not to be honoured, but rather, to put roofs over the heads of those in dire need, particularly abandoned women and children. Please take some time to read about this project - you'll also see what a truely beautiful girl Joline was; both inside and outside.
