The end of her side of the story

It seems that me helping Yellow Goddess to translate her Mandarin posts has hit home, because she has decided to remove them from her blog. I would probably do so too, if these posts were filled with lies and accusations which suddenly the whole world can read and understand. Maybe not necessarily the whole world, but just a handful of people such as Bil and mother-in-law would be enough.

For example, on her very 1st (and very long) post dedicated to me dated 23 July, she started out by saying (blue = original text, green = translation):

"23 July

博客风波

前两日听婆婆说,有个博客,充满一些疯疯颠颠的贴子.我好奇地问,那一些疯疯颠颠的贴子,写些什么.婆婆说,写你和我儿子,还有我孙子. 好奇的我,决定上去看看."

"Blog crisis

"Two days ago, my mother-in-law said that there is a blog, full of wild and crazy posts. I curiously asked, what kind of crazy posts, and what about? Mother-in-law said, they are about you and my son, and my grandson. Very curious me decided to go and check it out."

Already in the 1st paragraph, there are a couple of lies.

First lie: She knew about my blog already on 5th July, not 21st July as claimed. She did start up her blog on (or around) 5th July, as I had written in my post on that date, but made it sound as if she had only "discovered" my blog on 21st July? Is that to show that she did not start hers as a reaction to mine? That she had been happily blogging for almost a month when "suddenly", on 21st July, she "heard" about mine?

Second lie: She wrote that it was our mother-in-law who told her about my blog. The truth would more likely be the other way around - that she/Bil told my mother-in-law about it. You see, a few days after my birthday on 08 Aug, Martin's stepdad came by to our home to say "hi" and to give me some birthday presents. I'm sure he would have heard about this "blog, full of wild and crazy posts" by then (if what Yellow Goddess wrote is true), but was there any mention of it when he came by? Nada. Not to me, not to Martin....nada. It was only some days later that they heard about it for the first time.



"原来是前两日老公帖的儿子的照片, 招徕网上跳梁小丑的无端攻击. 不因为其他，只因为这博客的主人,嫉妒之火又烧起来了，我们就被她认定为没有资格当父母。"

"Apparently, it’s a photo which hubby took of our son 2 days ago, provokingly uploaded on the Internet by a comedian clown as an attack for no reason. Not because of any other reason than that this blog master’s envious fire burns up again, so she saw us as unqualified parents."

I don't really know which photo Bil took "2 days ago" (i.e. 21st July) that she was refering to. This one? But that was taken way before 21st July. Perhaps this one? But that was taken also way before 21st July. The last picture I have of nephew is this one, taken on 20th July. Finally, picture taken on a date that almost fits her post, but there's a major problem: Bil didn't take it, Martin did, so it can't be that picture either.

As for me seeing them as "unqualified parents", and "attacking + libelling their parental love towards their child" (我们做父母的对孩子的爱遭到攻击和诽谤), in what way? In my "Chuby nephy" post, I was writing "in general", not "in specifics". In my "Pretty in purple" post, I just thought it funny that Bil used the adjective "pretty" for his son, and I explained why with illustrations. How does an "attack" on the used word "pretty" become an "attack" on "their parental love towards their child"?



"包括我刚刚生产后和大家聚会,所有人都上前恭贺我们,看看我们的儿子. 只有她,闷在角落里,一声不响."

"when the whole family met up after I just gave birth, everyone came forward to congratulate us and came to see our son. Except her, melancholy at the corner, not making a single sound."

Hmm...funny how I remember quite clearly Bil giving me their baby son to carry in my arms, me looking down at him, and smilingly saying "Hi, Mxxxxx!" I suppose the reason why I remember this and she doesn't is because it happened while she wasn't there to see it. Should I be worshipping him in front of her before it will be accepted as a sign of interest?



"那次聚会之后, 她仍然利用其老公传话, 继续要求要来我门新居拜访. 我和老公被问烦了, 于是说: 她既不和我老公说话, 又不愿意答理我, 更对孩子不感兴趣, 为什么老是要求要来我家. 为什么不自己直接打电话, 直接问, 顺便表示友好?"

"After that family gathering, she still used her husband to convey the message of her continued request to come to our new home to visit. I and hubby became bothered by it already, therefore said: she already doesn’t talk to my hubby, and is not willing to acknowledge me, and furthermore doesn’t show the child any interest, then why is she always asking to come to our home. Why doesn’t she directly make a call herself, to straightforwardly ask, while conveniently expressing it in a friendly way?"

This is quite a paradox for me, isn't it? When I show some interest in wanting to pay them a visit in their brand new home after they moved in there more than ½ a year ago, they viewed it suspiciously. If I don't show any interest in them at all, then I am viewed as someone who can't be bothered about them, or someone who just seethingly envies them. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Besides, whenever they came to visit us (which had been quite a few times already), Bil was always the 1 who arranged it with Martin. Seems logical, since they're the ones who speak the most to each other.

Do we ask "Why do you guys want to come visit us?" No. We don't use the "Why" word, we use instead the "Welcome" word. Was that really so difficult for them to use back on us? So yes, the demand which Yellow Goddess made of wanting me to call her directly to ask for "permission" to visit them was indeed outrageous to my ears. A simple "Welcome to our new home!" was all that was needed. No need for suspicions, no need for lame excuses of being tired each time since they had had several other visitors who visited them during that time, shortly after the days they had cancelled on us. It also wasn't like we were planning on staying for 10 hours, or even for dinner.



"譬如 此人不知从哪里侦察到我们新居的平面图"

"For example I don’t know where these people know how to search for the floor plan of our new home"

Since she was wondering, the floor plan of their new home was sent to Martin by Bil himself, just after they had decided which unit to purchase. No need for any big search from my side at all, since Martin had forwarded the pdf file to me to take a look too, and it had been in my documents for more than a year already.



"再譬如, 此人犹如狗仔队员, 偷照不少我们的照片, 将我们的头减掉,"

"Again for example, this person is just like a paparazzi, secretly took many of our pictures, cropped off our heads,"

Funny how she assumed that I took those pictures like the paparazzi, when the real person who took those pictures was Martin. And very openly, I might add; not in secret.



"原来她对一些陈芝麻烂谷子的旧事仍然一直耿耿于怀, 虽然表面上她已正正式式, 冠冕堂皇的向我道了歉, 居然又在她的博客中提了出来. 还扬言要寻找我老公89年前的情人,以达到气死我的目的. 其实我哪有那么小心眼, 她或她老公要真的成为我老公前情人的好朋友, 当然共同聚会时我欢迎了."

"Apparently, she still continuously took to heart some “sesame seed, rotten millet” (ie small matters) past event, even though on the surface she already formally and pompously apologised to me, yet unexpectedly it got mentioned again on her blog.

She also threatened to seek my husband’s sweetheart from the year ’89, in order to try and irritate me; actually I’m not so narrow-minded, if she or her husband really want to be good friends with my husband’s ex’s good friends, I will certainly welcome a get-together."

That "small, rotten" past event she was refering to was probably this one. Yes, I had apologised to her for gloatting about it after hearing that she was rejected (though she never accepted my apology), but does my apology mean that I should never ever tell anyone about it ever again? My apology to her was for gloatting about it directly to her. My post however, was about how I'm still puzzled about the whole thing, how I don't understand why she even wanted to try, my feelings about working with family members, and yes, a good example of a lame excuse she can childishly come up with.

As for Bil's sweetheart from the year '96-'98 (not '89 as Yellow Goddess had written, but I guess she made a typo there since Martin and Bil were not even interested in the female species at age 14), I doubt she'll really welcome a get-together. As far as I remember, she got quite upset when Martin found some old photos of the ex at his parents' home and showed them to Bil, who was there too. "I'm going to find some photos of your ex too and show them to Sheila!" she told Martin. So, if showing Bil old photos of his ex could upset her, then I can't imagine how she would welcome a get-together in person.



"她这种人讲话超难听，虽然她这种人没恶意，甚至是好意，但每件事经由她的金口一开，莫名其妙就矗立了一堆敌人，真有一套，真令人称奇！世人皆无如她一般轰走别人的超能力！"

"She this kind of person when she speaks it’s super horrible to hear, even if she this kind of person does not have malice, even with good intentions, still every matter which comes out via her golden mouth, strangely seems to create a bunch of enemies, really some case, really causes one to express admiration! Nobody has the talent like her, the talent of chasing people away!"

Right...this is quite interesting. If I may share 2 particular times when she opened her mouth, this was what came out:

Year 2004 - Sheila's mobile rang, and she saw it was Yellow Goddess calling her after 6 months of silence:
Sheila (puzzledly): Hello?
Yellow Goddess: Sheila, you're a piece of sh*t, you're a piece of sh*t! Martin is also a piece of sh*t, and you both deserve each other! (click! She hung up the phone)
Sheila (to herself): What the...??? (goes off to tell Martin what just happened)

Year 2005 - in the presence of mother-in-law, grandma, cousin and cousin's (ex)boyfriend:
Yellow Goddess (to Sheila): Bit*h!
Sheila: Thank you.
Yellow Goddess: Yeah, bit*h!

She really speaks like a mature, refined and educated young lady, doesn't she? The above 2 examples may sound too far out to be true, but I had experienced them 1st hand to know their reality.



Anyway, the original post in its unedited fullness here:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

English translation here (after getting proof-read by a friend):
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

This post will end the "air-time" she has on my blog to tell her side of the story.