He's not perfect

Martin said that I write too many good things about him on my blog, so he's afraid that you guys might get the wrong idea that he's "Mr Perfect". Hey, just digressing a little; wasn't there a WWF wrestler called "Mr Perfect"? Kinda rings a bell... .

But yeah, it's true that I have not written much about his flaws, and I only have 1 bad picture of him during his wild hair days. He doesn't think that was a flaw, though, despite what my mini poll statistics based on your votes show... .

So this post is to settle once and for all that my hubby is not at all perfect. Here are some of his flaws:

Flaw#1. He makes a lot of noise in the morning

I don't like getting up early in the morning, so Martin is usually up before me by about an hour. I don't know if it's because my ears are sensitive in the mornings or what, but I tend to hear his heavy footsteps quite loudly, amongst other noises.

*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* into the bathroom.
*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* into the bedroom.
*SLAM!* (cupboard door or drawer closing)
*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* into the kitchen.
*CLINK* *CLINK* *CLANK* *CLANK* as he eats his cereals.
*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* into the living room.
*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* back into the bedroom to kiss me goodbye and say he loves me.
*STOMP* *STOMP* *STOMP* out the bedroom.
*SLAM!* (main door closes)

Phew! Peace and quiet at last once the door slams shut!!!

Seriously, it sounds like a big, fat elephant is rampaging around our apartment every morning!!! If I weren't too lazy to get up in the mornings, I would have got out of bed with a rifle in my hands to try and shoot it down!

Flaw#2. He has a very bad memory

Actually, he has a very good memory, but it is used to remember useless things like movie quotes, names of actors/actresses whom I have never heard of before, names of directors who produced this and that movie, approximate year when the movie was released, etc, etc related to movies.

Therefore, since his good but maybe limited memory space is being used up in the above way, he has no memory left for remembering more useful things like appointment/event dates, things I told him some days before, things we did some days before, etc, etc.

But then again, to some extent, this is a good thing because it means that he won't remember if I've been mean to him ;o). Of course, being the good wife that I am, I'm never mean to him ;o). You see, if he doesn't remember it, then it simply never happened....so I've got a clean record ;o).

It's been said that drinking too much beer can cause memory loss. I wonder how much beer he had been drinking during his wild student days... .

Flaw#3. He gets cranky when his sugar level is low

This would not have been on his list of flaws, if it wasn't for the fact that his sugar level is usually "conveniently" low whenever we are out shopping eg. after work. Not good in a girl's book. Luckily, there is a remedy for his crankiness - a bar of Snickers to appease the "kid", and we're on a roll again.

We don't always manage to get him his Snickers though, so then I have to go through the shopping trip all stressed. Bad, bad flaw, this is. But ok, if he's not cranky, then he's a very patient man during my shopping trips :o).

Flaw#4. He doesn't put things back where he took them from

One minute the tweezers are where they should be, and the next minute they are where they shouldn't be. If I didn't know that he was using them before, I would have thought they grew legs to do a walkabout! Sometimes when he keeps forgetting to put them back where he takes them, I hide them away from him, so the next time he wants to use them, he'll go "Where are the tweezers?" and I shrug my shoulders and go "I don't know. Where did you put them last time?"

Then he learns next time to put them back where he took them from...for some time at least, until his memory starts to fail him again (refer to Flaw#2 above).

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So yeah, as you can see, he's not perfect ;o). What? You think the list is too short?!? Well...I do want to stay married you know (he reads my blog sometimes too), so you can't expect me to list down every single flaw ;oP. Besides, we all have flaws, so when you are married to someone, you'll just have to overlook some of them in order to live peacefully with each other :o).

But ok, if you think a couple more flaws to this list would make him more human, then here are Flaws#5 and #6:

Flaw#5. He burps

Flaw#6. He farts...loudly and dangerously

So there you have it; he's human.