We all want to have happy marriages, but even the most wonderful marriage or relationship has the occasional arguments/disgreements/quarrels. If it doesn't, then something is wrong, and my guesses are:
- Both partners don't really care about each other (living separate lives)
- Both partners don't speak each other's language, or a common language
- Both partners are dead
Martin and I are happily married, but we are not perfect, so we do have disagreements now and then. We have had major arguments in our history together, but these are thankfully rare and far between. He usually buys me flowers to apologise whenever we have one of these major arguments, so if any of you come by to our place and see flowers on the table, then you can guess why ;o).
But like I said, these are quite rare - the major arguments and therefore also the flowers on the table ;o). Hmm...I think I should tell him to stop associating lovely flowers with our major arguments; such a pity for a girl to get flowers from her man only after a fight!
Anyway, our disagreements are usually about minor things which are easily solved or easily forgotten. I would say in a month, we have around 2 or 3 such disagreements, which is not a lot at all considering that we have 30-31 days each month. I had a relationship once with a guy called Kim, and my goodness! We were having arguments/disagreements quite constantly, like every 2 or 3 days! That was an unhealthy relationship, so it was good that it ended after 6 months.
Whenever Martin and I have a major argument, and I don't feel like I'm getting through to him even after our discussion, I tend to do 1 thing - I go into silent mode. I ignore him, I don't talk to him, I push him away if he tries to hold me, I don't reply his emails or sms'es when we're at work... . When he tries to kiss me in the morning before going to work, my back is turned towards him. The situation between us kinda looks like this:
I know it's not good to go to bed without being at peace with each other, but sometimes you can't help it because if the argument happens just before bedtime, then you can't really stay up late to discuss and conclude it when you need to get your sleep so as to get up early for work the following day, right?
Fortunately, the silent treatments don't last for more than a day. We usually manage to make up and come to a peaceful solution before going to bed again, such that the situation looks more like this instead:
Ah yes...that's Martin snoring away and holding on to me, while our dear Tiggy cuddles next to us ;o). Oh! "Who's Tiggy?" you ask. Well, he's not our pet as you might think, but more like a friend. He does talk, and he does torment Martin now and then, so he's very real indeed. They have a competitive love-hate relationship with each other...something to do with "male territory". Anyway, here's Martin and Tiggy when they love each other:
I think Tiggy looks a little shocked at the affection in that picture. We're a weird couple, aren't we ;o)?
